Tackling FOMO ( Fear of Missing Out) Part 2

by Nyamka Bayanmunkh in


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A couple of weeks ago at the Melbourne Minimalists Meetups we discussed the phenomenon of FOMO.

First we figured out where the feeling of missing out comes from.

FOMO 1

The feeling of "missing out" seems to stem from not being sure of your current choices and then looking for other potentially better options.

FOMO stems from not being in the moment, where our minds start wandering and wondering about what potential activities we could be engaged in, instead of paying attention to what is happening now.

This leads to searching for more things and more activities because we feel we aren't enough, what we are doing isn't enough, and what we have already is definitely not enough. And so, we try to be more, do more, and acquire more.

That's how FOMO develops within us. Now that we know how FOMO starts, how do we deal with it?

FOMO 2

First, I think, we need to acknowledge the fact that we will be always missing out. As I have said before, there is an infinite amount of things that are available to us, and we only have limited time. We can only do so much.

Since we have limited time we need to be selective with our time. We need to live a curated life, where we  say no to everything that doesn't add value or meaning to our lives, so we can say yes to things that matter.

The logic behind the curated life is simple, but it is not easy to implement. Why? It's because often we don't even know what we like.

It's hard to say yes or no when you don't know what you want. It's hard to curate your life when you don't know who you are. It seems that not knowing yourself is the root causing of having FOMO.

In order to know yourself better and deeper you need to time to think, and time to be. That's where a simple life comes in handy.

Just a few years ago I had no idea who I was. My life was just an amalgamation of what people expected of me. I had no agency, not because people forced their views on me, but because I had no idea what I wanted, so I was happy to let others take the reigns.

Of course, as a result I was always fearing that I was missing out on something better because my life felt alien to me and I was never sure of my decisions.But, instead of getting to know myself better, I just increased the number of people I took advice from and got further away from myself.

So, what does this mean for you? What is an action step you can take right now for a FOMO-less life?

Well, the answer is to make time and space to get to know yourself more. When you know what you like, and what you don't like based on your deep rooted knowledge of yourself, making decisions become easier and regret free. As a flow on effect you become sure of your choices, so sure that FOMO will become a very rare occurrence.

The first step is to get clear on who you are. Give yourself plenty of time for this exercise. It took me a couple of years. See you on the other side.

With love and simplicity,

Nyamka

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